dicekspitchcount

This is the face of evil. His name is Mike Knall, and he is the punter for the Oklahoma Sooners. During the Texas - Oklahoma game yesterday, this young man took a flop that made Kobe Bryant take notice. A Texas player attempted to block a punt in the third quarter of a very close game; maybe brushed up against the shoulder of Knall, and he pulled a Mary Lou Retton type tumble garnering a 15 yard penalty.

Kickers in football are like background dancers in “Boy Bands”. They only get noticed if they fall down, but they could tell girls they’re in the band and maybe get laid. Technically kickers are football players, but in actuality they are soccer players who couldn’t hack it. Football fans shouldn’t have to watch that pansy -like flopping soccer mentality during any football game, let alone a match-up between two of the best schools in the country. This guy should be taken out back and beaten with a sack of oranges ala Private Pyle.

Kickers are a necessary evil in football, but there needs to be repercussions for flopping. Penalize them, humiliate them, or make them wear the left tackles jock as a face-mask. I don’t care how it’s done, but it needs to end because what we all saw yesterday was not football, and it happens all the time. The punter or kicker is in a vulnerable position by virtue of his job, but who cares? Quarterbacks get too much protection from new rules, but still less than kickers, and a quarterback actually means something to the team. Kickers should be going to games on the cheerleader and band buses, not with the men. I was bigger than most NFL kickers by the time I was twelve.

If a kicker gets hurt, the team need only get a new one from some high school girls J.V. soccer squad. I personally enjoy watching kickers get hurt. It sounds sick, but I think of kickers like that spoiled rich kid that you weren’t allowed to beat up because daddy was a senator. Screw kickers. Extra points should be decided arm wrestling or something manly, not a 155 pound fairy with a golden toe. At least back in the day, kickers did it bare-foot and only had that one bar on their face-masks. Now they have special cleats and referee protected 10 foot bubbles.

Mike Knall wrecked the relationship between football fans and kickers yesterday. He made us notice him; he’s the dancer that made the girls look away from J.T.’s ass. Thank God they lost the game, and this anal-cake didn’t effect the outcome. It’s bad enough when one of these Nancy fairies misses an easy field-goal or extra point to lose a game, but to alter an ending by acting would go too far. Join the drama club you “no-talent ass clown,” there is no room in football for you.