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How can you not love Adam “Pacman” Jones? Whether he’s “making it rain” on strippers, or having a friendly wrestling match with his bodyguard, he’s constantly finding new ways to entertain us. This guy spends more time on TMZ than ESPN. He’s a walking train wreck and grants all men the ability to say, “Hey, at least I’m not that guy.”

Jerry Jones must be thrilled right now, because “The Pac” did exactly what we all knew he would do. Pacman got in a public fight with one of the four men payed to keep him out of the public eye. That’s right folks, there are currently four men on the Dallas Cowboy’s payroll who’s lone job is to babysit a grown man. If this guy was a movie character he would ruin our willing suspension of disbelief with reckless abandon.

Jerry Jones knew this would happen, but was willing to risk it because the guy can play great football. I’m sure Jerry has owned oil pumps with more character than Pacman, but where’s the fun in fossil-fuels. He’s running a legitimate social experiment by giving a semi-retarded street thug millions of dollars and he can just watch the nightly news to see the results.

As football fans we need to enjoy watching the man play while he’s still able and allowed because he is a great talent and fun to watch. However as a society, we need to collectively pray that the day he finishes with football, he disappears. Whether he goes to jail, gets shot, gets consumed by a ghost before he eats the fruit, or overdoses on some cool new drug that we’ve never even heard of before; this man must disappear. The only thing more dangerous than Pacman now, is Pacman with tons of money, no babysitters, and no job.